The difficult thing for me has been my H notices, and then reaches out to me and I typically take the bait and that is not good.
There is a great site on the internet called Baggage Reclaim (google it, it's a relationship blog by a British woman).
She writes about emotionally unavailable men (who she calls ar$ehats) and fallback girls (that's us) ....
there's some great reference material and great food for thought on her pages - she makes so much sense, and when you understand what she's saying you realise that we live in fantasy relationships. We see the world and our partners as we want to see them, not how they really are - and we have to sincerely reflect on the way they have treated us and behaved in the relationship (their actions, not their words) to work our way through the crisis and out the otherside.
I really recommend the site to women who are co-dependent or with emotionally unavailable and immagure men .... or Ar$ehats!!!
V
Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.
