My Story/Mixed Messages...

[2012sf]

He texted and wanted to see the movie after all. We met up with him and drove over. It feels good how much less tense things are when we are together. He still seems like a stranger in some ways though. Like he is never all the way comfortable and a little harsh at times in his responses. I don't take it personal, it's just a mannerism I hadn't noticed him having before. The theater was packed when we got there, and we actually had to split up and he sat with our son a few rows back and my daughter and I sat up front more. That was a bit of a downer, because we always talk all through the movies and like to laugh together, etc. I acted like it was no big deal though, and afterwards we all talked all the way home about the movie and the parts we liked. It was the Avengers, and such a good movie! I was really glad we were able to go and it was fast to come home afterwards, because he had to work, but we packed in a lot of good interactions.

He mentioned that tomorrow he wanted to take the kids and spend the day with them on a "secret mission". He won't tell me what it is either, but he says it is good and I will like it. I have a feeling it is to get something for me for mother's day, because I can't think of anything else it would be. And I am kind of excited, because he is not a gift giver, so it will be neat to see what they pick out. I think it will just be something from the kids, but that is still more than he usually does. I am not going to get my hopes up that it will be something from him that shows more progress or leads to more. I am still just going to be happy that he is pre-planning something that revolves around me with the kids and glad for whatever it is.

Next weekend his whole family is getting together at his Mom's house and he works, but he wants me to go ahead and go with the kids. I think I will, although I feel wierd about it. I get along great with his family, I just feel strange going by myself and they all know our situation. He wants me to do it though, and I want to try and show I can be independant, so I am going to do it and try to enjoy it all and hopefully he will like that and it will help us even more. I feel like I'm always trying to figure out the next step for advancement lately. I'm so thrilled to have a week without any backsliding for once, the babysteps are really on my mind and I keep trying to figure out how to get more when I get a chance.