Not sure where to start, Part 2

[scaredsilly]

yes, why is he still living with you and having this affair with OW? are you still cooking for him and doing his laundry? what is the OW doing for him? all the EASY stuff?!
since you don't seem to be able to stop him, you might tell him to, yes, take the dog and the daughter, too! she may as well get a feel for what her life will be like from now on...

[wishing, hoping]

I am sooooooo angry. I confronted him and told him I thought this was inappropriate and unacceptable. He basically told me oh well. He said S is old enough to accept that mom and dad are getting D and that there is someone else. I asked him how he would feel if the tables were turned and he said he would understand the emotions I am feeling. He basically told me he didn't need to ask my permission and I said yes but you need to discuss things with me. I told him he should have talked to me about it last night but he didnt. He was trying to stop the conversation so he could leave but I wouldn't let him. I asked him if it was his intention for this woman to replace me and he said Of course not. I also asked if it was his intention to take S up there every weekend and be said no. I also asked H if he intended to go up there every weekend and again he said no.

I am at such a low point right now. Is H really in such la la land that he can't see what he is doing or is he trying to get back at me for all the resentments he holds inside. What did I ever do to deserve this??

I feel like going dark or giving up.

[BklynMom]

You should find an Al-anon meeting in your area. I dont think you should be living together he needs to feel all the effects of his decision. Financial and emotional of being separated from his kids on a daily basis.

You have every right to be angry. But you should not react out of anger.

Please go be with family and friends today. You dont need to decide right now what your next steps are.

[wishing, hoping]

I have been on the phone with several friends today. I am still very upset. And I think H is trying to make me upset. I feel like he is trying to rub this relationship in my face. My friend thinks he is just trying to look like the world's greatest dad to impress this woman.

This is just such a nightmare. I can't even believe this is the same guy I married. He is just such an @$$ right now.

I thought Al-anon was for alcoholics? I am going to need to get S into counseling stat!!! H refuses to go. Because he is "normal".

[hopeless in wa]

I don't know if you have anything legal, but maybe a legal separation will set down rules about parenting plan. The younger moms can probably help you with this. I think it's ridiculous he thinks he can do what he wants with your kids and OW without you agreeing.

[wishing, hoping]

Hopefully at this parenting class we are supposed to take I can voice some of my concerns. I also plan to get S to counseling and talk to his and my counselor about this. I am not letting this die. H needs to accept boundaries. I don't appreciate being treated like his mother.

I am wondering again how I can continue to DB. Do I even care anymore. It's hard to be sympathetic And loving when he is blatantly disrespecting me and acting like a complete jerk? Crisis or not his behavior is appalling. For 14 years I have never seen him act like this.

[hopeless in wa]

Detach, that's part of db'ing and the first priority should be your kids. I feel for you.

[wishing, hoping]

I think next weekend I am taking a trip with the kids to my mothers house. Let H spend mothers day with the OW. He can treat her like his mother.

[wishing, hoping]

So last night had a good night with D. We ate dinner watched Lion King and had "spa night". We soaked in the tub together, put on our robes and did our nails and toes. Then she put some lip gloss on me and her and we played princesses. Nice to have a girl to pamper with. : )

This morning made a big breakfast per her request and gonna do some shopping. Kinda dreary and overcast. Maybe it will lift my mood a bit.

Not sure what to expect when H gets home with S. I am still pretty torked off. I don't want to act out of anger. I think I should talk to S about it though.

[wishing, hoping]

So H, S and Dog are home. OW even sent home cupcakes with S!!! WTF!!!!

I was seething at first but I have calmed down. Had to avoid H for about a half hour to keep my composure. I made dinner for the kids but he had to warm up a frozen meal.

S told me that they shot off rockets, went to a bounce house and to an arcade. Nice to know he does more things with her kids than he does ours.

WTF!! I just don't know why he is running off to play dad to her kids!!! I am just losing hope here. Like someone else posted maybe he is really in love with her. Maybe she is just the perfect woman and everything I am not.