T2P and Labug are right -- do not reach out. You want to contact him, so the whole "maybe he's waiting for me" thing above is just something you are making up to justify contacting him.

You're doing the best thing you can do by giving him space and not reaching out. I know its tearing you up, but reaching out to him won't work and will just set you back. Resist mind reading and trying to second guess yourself. He knows his stuff is there, he knows where to find you, and he will when he is ready. He really wants space so you are being the best partner you can be right now. Hang tough!

If you don't think you can take it, but a date on your calendar for 5 weeks from today. After 5 more weeks, allow yourself to reach out. When the day comes, you can decide to reach out if you need to, decide to continue dark, or decide to move on with your life. Having that date in your calendar can be reassuring.

You are showing incredible discipline, its very impressive. Keep going!

Accuray

Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015