Yep - pretty sure I was being baited. Purposefully or otherwise.

I just let it go last night. This morning I started fresh and sent a pic of s in his PJs - she responded happily and positively so I guess she is over it - maybe.

Small victory, but I am happy that I did not get sucked into the vortex last night. Old me would have jumped in without even looking trying to make her see my point. Progress on my part.