"I've been reconsidering divorce...On a scale of 1 to 10, the feeling is a 7.5" . . .
TRANSLATION: "Play nice, and we'll see if we can get this down to a 5 or a 6. F*%k with me, and this goes back to a 9.5."
OnMyWay,
In the above -- and in your original post about your wife's convo to which I was responding -- lies a clue about what I think you need to do.
Do you see how you responded to the fear of loss, and "played nice" ??
Well, that works with either party, too.
There's a truism around here that says "not until the betrayed spouse becomes the walkaway spouse, will you begin to re-attract your wayward spouse back to you."
I'm NOT advocating game-playing (altho it has its place, in my opinion -- it's all just basic "laws of human attraction" stuff). You should GENUINELY want to establish the kind of boundaries that we've been discussing with you recently, and you should GENUINELY, ALWAYS try to get to and remain in a place emotionally in your life where you are FULLY OKAY without your spouse (although you'd prefer to have them in your life). It's how we break co-dependency, and live more emotionally-healthy lives and exhibit the kind of strength and attractiveness that first attracted our wives to begin with.
