Woke up at the crack of dawn with the birds singing, feeling overcome with grief. Think today is the day H is leaving to go on holiday with OW.
I'm sure I probably know what the advice may be, but would there perhaps be any point or hope in contacting the one close friend my H has confided in (and turned to guidance for)? My H always been very easily influenced by his surroundings (and by the company he keeps). Although it's been 3 months since he first confided in his friend, perhaps his friend could still have some influence either way.
I'm not suggesting I contact his friend with the (direct) purpose of asking him to intervene on my behalf and ask H to consider giving our marriage another chance. Although I will say I understand H's friend loyalty lies with H and that I cannot ask him to do anything, I will request that he does not tell my H I have contacted him. My H said that his friend offered him an 'objective' view and did not just tell H to 'end our marriage'.
I suppose my purpose in contacting H's friend would be to 'try to explain or describe things from my perspective': how despite my instincts screaming for me to go out to see H since November I love H and respected H's wishes that I did not do so, how when I asked H in December if he was involved with someone else and he said 'No' I believed him (had I known about OW I would have gone out in Jan, despite H's wishes), how I acknowledge our marriage was never perfect and there are things would need to change, I feel since H's emotional involvement with OW has developed his no longer recognises that there ever was (or could still be) any value, worth or love in our marriage. I would tell him I truly love H and want to reconcile, but I am finished trying to fight for our marriage and, I guess by contacting him, I am hoping to achieve some small bit of the peace my H seems to have achieved..
I really hope I get off moderation soon...I feel like I'm stuck in this massive whirling vortex...
