Today W mentioned that she feels her close friend may might not have gotten a divorce if her friend could have let go of her OM. She said people can think clearer if they don't have feelings for someone else. She said, "At some point people HAVE to stop looking. There will always be people that look appear better than the person you're with, but they probably aren't." We talked about how a potential new relationship is always more exciting than what you've had for years. Interesting conversation... we laughed, joked, and had a good time.
She also mentioned that she doesn't feel like part of "the group" at work. They don't invite her to lunch, etc. This is the first I've ever heard of this. For the last many months she always said how much she loved her work and the people she worked with. Interesting.
Tonight she went out with some old friends from highschool. She gave me a nice hug and a kiss and said ILY before leaving. In that moment I feel loved. Otherwise I generally feel frightened that she'll change her mind or that she's still very uncertain. I constantly have to remind myself not to reach for validation every 2 minutes... I continue to struggle between keeping distant (not initiating ILY, physical touch etc), and one of her primary love languages: physical touch.
M34 W35 S5 S2 T10 M6 on/off over the years including her A Recently- Nov 2015 bomb Nov 2015-Feb 2016 Reconciling Feb bomb March-April Reconciling May - bomb Mid-May I tell her I'm done
