I just wanted to say that this entire thread really helped me look at my own sitch. I even copied and pasted a few good quotes for my own notes later.
I think OldTimer is a genius
Reading the info that your husband wrote in that letter made me feel like he could have spoken for my husband as well. My husband never said those things. He kept saying he was fine and happy until I basically said I don't believe you're happy and I'm not happy either. Then later he mentioned a lot of those things. I said to my IC when she said sounds like you're finally listening. I said yeah well he never talked before. And she said maybe he didn't think he could. I HATE more than anything that it's taken this for us to communicate and look at where things went wrong. I HATE that we never agreed to look at it sooner. You said that you changed your opinion of him because of his behaviour. I will say that I went through that period and he has changed again since then. This is all very very hard for everyone. I think both parties just try to get through it the best way they can. He later apologised for not being involved with SS sooner after he moved out. (he sees him as his son) So like they say believe half of what you hear or whatever...I made judgements based on comments he made and then he took responsibility and changed those judgements. Good luck
