What is going on here... and what do I do?

[LIO]

Thank you so much for responding!

I agree - I'm backing off, I understand now that by 'inviting' him along with whatever plans I was doing, he took it as I wasn't listening to him, and in his words 'being delusional' Which wasn't my intention.

I had a IC last night... which was interesting.

A good point I learned: I need to read Codependent No More
I have spent too much of my life 'managing' and 'fixing' the relationship. I agree with this. I lost site of myself. I am reminded of that 'gift of time' statement.

Also I did realize that H doesn't communicate with his family about relationships or important issues, so why would I expect him to do the same with me? He never learned that skill and he grows angry when I do try to 'talk things out' because it's not how he's dealt with life before. I'm not saying this is right/wrong, but at least I see why we seem to be on two different planets sometimes... or why he thinks I'm being 'annoying' by talking so much.

Now on to the rest:
She thinks I need to consult with a lawyer as he seems like a 'loose cannon' to her. I don't think he is a loose cannon yet. But she says that I am not taking care of myself and my S and divorce is inevitable.
In the next couple of weeks, she wants to work on 'mourning the death of my relationship'. I am struggling with this thought. It seems so 'final' to me when she says that. Like there is NO hope. ever.

He 'sounds' bipolar to the IC, but unless he goes in and actually gets treatment, she says there is no hope. I do think he struggles with this, and in the past, I sent him info about it but I can't make him do anything about it.

I left there feeling worse then I arrived. I ended up talking to my MIL of all people (the same woman who struggles with the issues that her S does). Her advice was strangely so so close to the DB on here. GO figure... She may not be as 'off' as I thought.

She told me to give him space, to let him see what he is missing. To be cordial, and not 'talk' as I have. She believes he'll come around. She also basically told me to GAL. LOL.
Start a running program, a exercise program...something with a start and end date so I know I'm working towards a goal.

I'm sorry if I am being repetitive, sometimes I feel like I need to remind myself a lot....