Hey guys - sorry i've started a new thread, but i'm still posting on my phone and can't figure out how to get my old ones! i haven't actually posted too much, but i have read daily, and drawn lots of strength from the support and advice you have all given each other. my husband and i have lived apart since july last year. at the start i have to confess to doing EVERYTHING you're not supposed to -crying, begging, even turning up at his house late at night (oh the shame!). i tried all of the DB techniques but i didn't really get it i don't think until christmas when i finally managed to detach. it just happened. i realised ththat whilst i had contributed to what had happened in the relationship,it wasn't all my fault. i also realised that i could still love my H but value myself too, and realised that, no matter what, i would be ok.
i still felt desperately sad, but for the first time i started to feel like living again. And so i was able to communicate with my H as I would a friend, without the bitterness or the crazy antics. And boy did he notice the difference. Over the last few months we've been talking like we never have before. a lot of issues have been aired, and i'm actually due to be going to stay with him for a while tomorrow. we've a long way to go, and it may not work out, but for the first time in a long time.i think we have a chance. I really juat wanted to share to say that it can happen - my H was completely adament when i moved out that he didn't love me, never did amd wanted a divorce. I just finally accepted that i could not control him, and my words were not the magic cure for him, he had to find his own way. i also had fantastic support from a DB coach, and would highly recommend the coaching sessions. And i really just wanted to say how wonderful i think this forum is, and how wonderful you all are to be helping and supporting each othrr so much.
