Hoping my marriage can be saved :(

[ben11]

Maggie,

Just read your whole story. I'm very sorry for what you're going through, and can empathize with your pain. All I really have to say is that I encourage you to really focus on GAL. Try as much as possible to not contact H at all and try have as much fun as you possibly can. Your H knows what hes doing is selfish, and thus, he's being an a-hole. Maybe he'll wake up, realize he's 30, and figure out that at 30, it's time to be a man. Then again, maybe he wont. While he's figuring that out, take the time to find out who you are, who you want to be, and how you can become that person. Again, go have some fun!

You mentioned your 180s were communication based, and it was hard to show H because you weren't communicating with H anymore. W and I also had poor communication. One thing she told me is I never complimented her, and gave her words of affirmation (Read 5 Love Languages if you haven't already). The thing is, I realized I don't need W to practice these things. I started complimenting friends, co-workers, or just anyone I had contact with. I took the criticisms and complaints that W had and figured, maybe this is a complaint that everyone has of me. Why not try fix this for everyone. At the very least, you'll be ready for your next relationship, whether that is with H, or a new man.

Take care of yourself, and have a great weekend!