Stuck in Holding Pattern 2

[bustorama]

This is me partly thinking out loud and partly directed to 25.

Getting on with one's life is not "giving up." I remember that I used to see things that way when I was in limbo, but I no longer saw it that way after I left limbo, nor now in hindsight.

When one of the spouses (WAS) has chosen not "be" in the R (whether by separating, affairing, filing for divorce, checking out or whatever you want to call it), then AT THAT MOMENT there IS no R to give up on. The R you feel you are waiting on, hoping for, working on is a thing of the past. An R is *two* people actively and willingly engaging each other. One person cannot have a relationship.

Accept your present and live it. It may involve a NEW R with your WAS in the future, it may not. But it will certainly lead to your future.

Living alone in an R that is broken or that no longer exists will not.