yes, people tried to change me. i always did a little changing, but not all the way. i now know what i need to do and am taking the steps to get there. i know i cant fix my W. she has to do that. my fear is that she isnt going to do that. i know its a fear, not a sure thing. stinking thinking. i am so worried all the time. i am detaching. i know that. i dont know if im doing it in a good way. i keep having the urge to go see a lawyer. i dont know why. i am GAL. i am not pursuing very much if at all. if i txt my W during the day, its about the kids. i dont ask where she is going or where she has been. when she tries to tell me, i tell her i dont care. do whatever you want. thats probably not good, its how i feel though. that scares me. fear is taking over my life. fear and apathy towards her. i dont like it. i want to stay married but am having a really hard time staying positive.
