What do I do next? Part 4

[luvhurts49]

Previous thread.

Ok, so I see how I could possibly be seeing my M through rose-colored glasses and I can see that my memories of our history may have been better than reality, but I think everybody does that to some extent.

It's very hard for me to envision that my W's new personality is a permanent one, but I do have to face that possibility. I don't like it, but it is possible that this is who she is now.

Any positive reaction that she has ever shown are long gone. When I see her, there aren't any smiles, no twinkle in her eye, and barely any words. I continue to fake my smile and keep the attention on our kids, but it kills me not to wonder what is going on inside of her.

I miss us asking each other out to dinner or to go to the parks with the kids. I miss the car rides together. Hell, I miss seeing her smile at me or even laughing at one of my jokes.

This is who she is now and it kills me to think that. How someone so caring and loving, the most gentle and warm person I've ever known could have ever become the woman that is here now? I miss the woman I fell in love with, the woman I had two kids with, the woman that I eventually married. I miss the woman who stole my heart.