For one thing, I resent it when you say it's "being passive". If you actually stuck around and read the threads, you would see that there's not one person in any situation (MLC or otherwise) that wouldn't want to call out their WAS on their BS.
My apologies if it came across that way. That was not my intent at all. I don't even care about confronting my wife. My only concern is protecting my daughter from my wife's bad choices.
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If you go ahead and "call a spade a spade" and tell your D that your W shouldn't be doing this or that, then it makes the child feel like they have to take a side.
Where did I say anything about telling my daughter something bad about her mom??? I would never do something like that, and I have no idea how you would extrapolate that possibility from anything I've posted on this thread the last few days.
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"Thankfully, my lawyer does not share that sentiment - in regards to the context in which my wife placed our daughter in the situation I described."
So you actually have it in writing that your W is not to date other men and she signed it? I'd like to see how that's enforceable. And what about you? I'm assuming if the right person came along, you'd date her. Are you saying that you signed away your rights to do that too?
The first part of your earlier statement read:
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Besides, there's no paradox to it. The fact is that your W (and you for that matter) can do whatever you want
My response was:
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my lawyer does not share that sentiment - in regards to the context in which my wife placed our daughter in the situation I described.
Fact is, neither my wife and I can/should place our children in unknown/risky situations in which they have no say or control, and which could be damaging to their emotional and psychological well-being. That is enforceable by law in my state. I could give a rat's ass who she dates.
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HMMM I guess your W doesn't give a crap about what you feel because you're not married any more.
We're still married and will be for many more months.
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If you start going after her, all it will do is cause resentment and anger in both of you and in the end it's your D who's going to suffer.
That's a fair argument that I can agree with. In the end though, as I've said previously, I'm not concerned about what my wife does. I only care about how her choices affect our daughter. It was a stupid move to put our daughter in an unknown/risky situation (over which she has zero control, with an unknown person [to her]...in a foreign country. What's worse? Me trying to mitigate that situation and try and provide my daughter some measure of protection - even if it pisses off my wife? Or.....should I continue to stand by and allow these types of situations to happen, knowing full well that it causes my daughter anxiety and stress?
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You know rather than coming here, asking for advice, then criticizing the people who are offering their two cents while their going through their own pain, why don't you go to a family C with your XW and air out your differences there?
Both of you need an impartial person to tell you what's best for your D.
I love the feedback here - good or bad. I thought that's what the forum was about - I give my two cents, then you give your give your two cents? It sounds like we've come up a penny short...
Haha... Seriously, you're not that sensitive are you? Was this in regards to my reply to Eric? He called me on a lot of my bs, and called him out on one statement I consider a bs statement/point of view. Fair exchange I would say...
On the other hand, if this was in regards to my comments about people seeming "passive" in regards to their children, in my personal opinion it all boils down to one question I asked Eric in my reply to him:
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If you saw you're loved one being driven towards the edge of a cliff, would you stand by and let her go over the edge?
[*]If you knew that boundaries won't work [*]If you knew the spouse/significant other was extremely stubborn [*]If you knew [from experience] that he/she would never agree to counseling [*]If you knew that your significant other has a history of affairs, and other 'risky' type of behavior
Knowing all this,How long would you put up with the BS? What would any sensible parent do? How many bad choices would it take for you to say "Enough is enough!"
That's all I'm asking...
I truly do enjoy the give and take here, and I hope it continues. It helps me wrap my head around the situation and broadens my perspective.
