MLC Spouse projecting negativity - Take 2

[MrBond]

"But, the overwhelming sentiment in the MLC archive (not only this thread) is that most/all here seem to advocate the "hard decision" of remaining passive in regards to their children. No matter how much divorce busting and/or 'working on myself' we all do there comes a point - specifically when it comes to the well-being of our kids - that we have to call a spade a spade..."

For one thing, I resent it when you say it's "being passive". If you actually stuck around and read the threads, you would see that there's not one person in any situation (MLC or otherwise) that wouldn't want to call out their WAS on their BS.

The difference is that you weigh out what the affect is going to be on the child in the first place. If you go ahead and "call a spade a spade" and tell your D that your W shouldn't be doing this or that, then it makes the child feel like they have to take a side. Then your W tells her something else and it confuses the hell out of her. Maybe when she's older, but that's your decision.

"Thankfully, my lawyer does not share that sentiment - in regards to the context in which my wife placed our daughter in the situation I described."

So you actually have it in writing that your W is not to date other men and she signed it? I'd like to see how that's enforceable. And what about you? I'm assuming if the right person came along, you'd date her. Are you saying that you signed away your rights to do that too?

"We both took a mandatory class called "Spare The Child" which, in a nutshell, teaches divorcing parents not to do exactly the type of thing she did with our daughter - which makes me even more livid about the situation."

HMMM I guess your W doesn't give a crap about what you feel because you're not married any more. Even though it may not be the right thing to do, your W has chosen to do what she wants. If you start going after her, all it will do is cause resentment and anger in both of you and in the end it's your D who's going to suffer.

You know rather than coming here, asking for advice, then criticizing the people who are offering their two cents while their going through their own pain, why don't you go to a family C with your XW and air out your differences there?

Both of you need an impartial person to tell you what's best for your D.