Yeah I know about feeling discouraged. But it hasn't been that long since you were served D papers...things might turn around...keeping the faith is hard. Best thing to do is detach and follow as close as possible DR last resort technique (follow the 37 rules too). Best of luck...we are all here for each other.
Honestly I think (and my C thinks) H is having a crisis. His behavior is just totally odd and completely teenager-like. He also told me this entire situation is about him trying to find happiness and sort out his head.
So all I can do is detach and stay off the roller coaster. The only thing that will bring him back to earth is time and a sharp reality check.
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
H gets home at a decent time tonight. Barely interacts with the kids. Barely grunts at me. Eats dinner. Goes out To mow the lawn. He is so avoidant of me. And I know it is because of guilt and shame. How do get him to start opening up to me without pursuing? I don't know if this can ever get pulled back together. Help!!
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Today is gonna be a good day. I can feel it! We are having a Cinco de Mayo (even though it's Star Wars Day) here at work. Lots of good food and festivities. : ) I even celebrated early and make taco bake for dinner last night.
Yesterday did a 180 for me and wore a dress to work. I always wear pants. I am just not really a dress type of person. I even wore it do make dinner and clean around the house. Felt kinda June Cleaver-ish, but I did not wear pearls and I kicked off my high heels. LOL! H didn't say anything about how I looked. He never compliments me anymore. But I didn't care. I knew I looked good and I know he knew I looked good too.
Anymore he just comes home, sits in his chair and sulks. Yesterday he played with his iPad like usual while I made dinner and helped the kids with their homework. Finally I thought this is ridiculous he can help out too. So I sent D over with her reading assignment and had her read it with daddy.
Strange thing. He got his work's employee newsletter and his name was in it and he showed it to S in front of me, but didn't show it to me. I asked what it was for and he told me it was for the award he had won a few months ago. He acted like he didn't really want to tell me. I asked him what he had done with the award and he told me he has it in his office. I asked if he had hung it on a wall and he said no, he just has it on a file cabinet. I told him he should be proud of it and hang it on the wall.
I just find it odd that he is pushing me away so hard. He doesn't want to talk to me about anything. I just don't understand it. But I give him his space. I don't pursue and I don't ask unless he brings something up. But we don't talk about anything except the kids really. I guess I just need to give it more time but it's hard not to get discouraged.
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
So it's happening. S told me his dad wants to take him "up north" to his friend's house overnight to launch his rocket. I am not happy about it. S has no idea what it is about!!! I told S that his dad needs to talk to me about it and I am not happy about the idea. So I need help!!!! I don't feel good about this at all!!! Help!!!
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
I think my H is having a MLC too. He's started dating a really young girl (very early 20s?) and he turns 33 in two weeks. He always dated younger, unstable girls before we met, so maybe he's just wondering what he's missed out on during the last 6 responsible, grownup years. As tough as it is, I'm trying to see him as a broken guy crying out for help and try not to feel that he doesn't love me. He says he does, but he's not in love. Just try to take it day by day, or hour by hour. I hope that he will come to his senses, but until then I have to GAL and try not to think too much about what's going on.
M36 XH34 M-5 T7 4/11 H confused 5/11 ILYB 6/11 OW discovered 7/11 I move out, OW over 5/12-OW2,done->new EA, but H wont file 9/12 H "best bf ever" to EA/OW3 3/13 H/OW break up H files 4/13 D 6/18/13
So this morning H asks me if I want him to take the dog with him "up north". And ask where he is going and he tells me to OW. I said I did not approve of it and did he really think that was a good idea? He tells me it will be fine. Inside I am seething. Absolutely furious. Not exactly sure where I should go from here. Confront more? He apparently does not respect that boundary. Help!!
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
This afternoon!!!! H told S he Would talk to me about it but he never did until this morning because he knew I would be against it! This is underhanded and sneaky and totally disrespectful. I am so angry.
That's just it we aren't even separated! I feel like he is either trying to ease his guilt of missing S's soccer game two weeks ago of else trying to replace me as his mom. They are supposed to go launch a rocket but it is windy and rainy so that isn't gonna happen.
My head is spinning and I feel nauseated. How am I ever gonna get through this!!
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Just take it one minute at time. Thank God you have 2 healthy and beautiful children.
Not to issue an ultimatium but I think if H takes S up there, your H should move out. I am not saying this to be a threat but its just not appriopriate. You cant stop your H but he should no longer pretend to part of the home & family where you live.
Do you have a friend or family you trust that you can call to help you today? You should not be alone today. You need to not be reactive but thoughtful.
Hang in there. You can do it for your kids. keep posting:)
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
