Well, he suggested that Thursday may work better for him, and I cant have lunch on Thursday due to work event, so i suggested breakfast, i have heard nothing from him so i guess i wait and see what he has to say...
this is incredibly frustrating, but I can not pursue, I can not push... if he wants to try, then he needs to try... that is that...
m 41 h 44 d 17 (prev marriage) d 9 Never give up!!!!!
Keep your expectations in check L2L. If he does follow through w/ the lunch or whatever do your best to listen, validate, ask questions to help gain clarity on what is going on in his head.
If he asks you a difficult question that you are not comfortable answering simply tell him you need some time to digest and process and you will get back to him when you are ready.
I would give anything to have my WAW say what your h said but I would also be scared so again, keep your expectations down as much as you are able.
we went to breakfast, we laughed and talked alot, well mostly he talked and I listened..ultimately he said the start for us to put our family back together will be him finding a job back here, which is true...I agreed.
after we had breakfast and i returned to work, he called, asked if we could have d birthday party on the day he is back in town, so we could do it as a family. I said that would work.
then he called later in the afternoon. which I missed, he didnt leave a voiemail, so i really didnt know what he wanted, then late in the evening he phoned again, we talked for a long time, he said he wants more than then anything to put us back together. I just listened... he said he would sleep on the couch for the next 10 yrs if that is what it took... I told him him no way!! I turned it into a joke, and we laughed... we wished me a good night, and said we would speak soon...
I do not have my expectations high, I am just going to let him come to me...he seems to want to pursue me, so I will let him, I am not ready to run back into his arms, but I am ready to try. I love this man, my family and I understand him more than I used to.. I also understand myself more.
wish me luck...
m 41 h 44 d 17 (prev marriage) d 9 Never give up!!!!!
It sounds like a great start for you! I wish you the very best!
M: 27 H: 28 T: 8 yrs M: 6 yrs Sep: 2/18/12 (I have no feelings for you!) EA/PA Uncovered: 2/26/12 H introduces OW to his fam: June H moves ALL stuff out: July
Well it seems as though I will continue to need to be patient which is not the easiest thing for me, but I will do it! He has been pretty quiet the last 24 hours but I remind myself that he came to me, which was a big step for him!
I look back and see the lessons and continue to learn, that is all I can do. Alot of damage was done by his choices, not just to me, but to the kids also. He will have to continue to try. But for the first time in a very long time I believe he can do it.
I will keep everyone on here informed, and hopefully we can all learn from each other.. I know for me without you guys I would not be where I am today, and for that I am forever grateful !
m 41 h 44 d 17 (prev marriage) d 9 Never give up!!!!!
Its interesting, the feeling I get from H is we are still a couple, however we dont talk we dont live together, etc...I really have no idea where to start or what to do????
If he were to move back here, i feel like he would still be gone and not focus on the family...
My question today, how do you know its time to start "reconciling" and where does one start, how do you let go of all the pain? How do you communicate that without sounding like you are trying to make the other feel guilty?
m 41 h 44 d 17 (prev marriage) d 9 Never give up!!!!!
Hello Friends, its been a while since I posted in here.
the latest update is, nothing really... still separated, still talking, he has said we could put the family back together if he lived here. I think he truly believes it is 100% up to him..
I did have a melt down last week, I told him I was done, I was going to file, he acted like this shocked him.. he asked if he could call me and we could talk.
we spoke for a while, no yellilng, no being mean, I jsut listened to him.
Overall, he is still miserable, now he is miserable 120 miles away. he thinks summer will be better because he can spend more time with D, since she wont be at school. And suggested that maybe he and I cuold also spend more time together.
I asked him if he thought we could actually put the family back together and he said without hesitation "yes" if he could just get a job back here.
Its really strange, he really seems to be living in another world. he is truly not happy... and I am truly confused by all of it.
I am jsut staying as positive as I can, and trying my best to not expect anything. It is all i can do.
m 41 h 44 d 17 (prev marriage) d 9 Never give up!!!!!
