Thank you guys so so much. To hear all your kind words makes me feel stronger.
I am the alt so I do keep up with things but am afraid to post cause it's linked to my true identity. Guess I need to create an alt for the alt.
I am proud of myself for how I have handle these tough times since September. When I was in my early 20s I went through a bad break up and used it as an excuse to drink and smoke as many cigerattes as I could. I feel like I am dealing with this head on.
Also I have been so worried and anxious about telling my neighbors about my sitch. But I figured out today that I would be okay with my mother telling my neighbors and then people would just know and I wouldn't have to tell them. That would be a relief to me.
Thanks for the love!!
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
I am so sorry to hear this. Although, everyone keeps telling me "it's not over until it's over!"
From your posts, you seem like you have become so much stronger and you stand your ground! Keep your head held high!
M: 27 H: 28 T: 8 yrs M: 6 yrs Sep: 2/18/12 (I have no feelings for you!) EA/PA Uncovered: 2/26/12 H introduces OW to his fam: June H moves ALL stuff out: July
MrBond posted this on another thread and it really rang true for me
" She was/is addicted to someone else and is pissed that you stand between her and that. Her actions probably mimicked alot of your own when you were at your worst."
I dont know if my H has another woman but I know he is in alcoholic frame of mind and he thinks I am preventing him from finding happiness. I am the cause of his depression. The D could have been so easy we would not even have needed lawyers if I didnt get in the way.
H told me in July before he moved out that he would stop drinking when he moved out. I was the reason he was drinking. The other night in a an Al-anon meeting a woman shared that her addict husband told her she was the reason he was an addict and I realized that my H line was script.
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
Remember that you are a strong and beautiful woman. You've come a long way in the last few months. Having the papers in your hands doesn't mean to you need to stop. Take a few days to process, but please keep going and keep working on yourself! Hang in there!
B.S. Just as we can choose as the LBS to let our WAS's behavior affect us, the road works the other way. He chose to drink. Or perhaps he didn't (if he has addiction issues) but he also didn't choose to confront his problems. He chose the easy way out.
And that is a common WAS theme. If only WE had been different then THEY wouldn't have had to do what they did. We "forced" them into a path. Which is bull. They chose a path free and willing. But it's easier to place the blame somewhere else.
Married 6 together 8 Me:38 W:31 second marriage for both SS12, SD10, S6 Bomb: 9/8/11 (day before our 5 yr ann) W moved out: 2/18/12 D final: 11/12/12 Share S 50/50. Spend as much time as I can with SS & SD
And remember God, Give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...(you know the rest, I always love hearing that first word, God, in the meetings and then everyone chimes in)
You didn't cause it, can't cure it, can't control it.
It's all on him!
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
In your postings to others, your caring and compassion really shines through. I feel like I have seen you through your posts and you are wonderful. Don't let today take anything away from who you are. We all appreciate you very much.
Accuray
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
