Hi Accuray, I've wondered a couple of things about your wife. First, does she care to improve herself or excel in other ways that are not directly about her relationship with you? and second, does she seem to allow herself to enjoy any physical activities that are not necesarrily sexual (such as back rub, foot rub, facial, excercise)? Maybe it is just the optimist in me, but I would have trouble accepting "that's just the way I am" and I am hopeful there is something for you to work with even though it would take time, patience and a lot of support to help her feel safe and willing to change.
