Been following your story for a while now. I don't have much to offer you as I'm deeper in the soup than you. I think you're doing great though and just wanted to encourage you to keep being patient.
I know exactly what you mean when you say its tough to have anything to say when the elephant's in the room. It really is like the old couple that goes out for dinner and just... eats dinner. Especially when we're not 'supposed' to initiate conversation... nails your feet to the floor.
Just a note about barking at your husband about not helping you out when you're sick. As a man, there's nothing worse than being told what to do, especially when you were never asked to do it before (and I mean explicitly asked, and not hinted at like women like to do). If you ARE going to mention it, next time just ask if he can help you in very specific ways. We're not so swift sometimes . Yes, he/we should know to help you out when you're sick, but as Jerry McGuire says "help me, help you".
M:28 | W:28 | T:4.5 | M:2.5 | No Children EA1 Uncovered: Jun 2011 EA2 Uncovered: 2011-09-29 S: 2011-09-29 I'm moving on: 2012-05-08 My story: http://bit.ly/K3ttPM
. Yes, he/we should know to help you out when you're sick, but as Jerry McGuire says "help me, help you".