I talked about that with my IC this morning. I was saying how at least I feel like I am getting some perspective and working on myself, and heaven knows I do NOT want another man for a long time, if ever, but at least I feel like I will have my eyes wide open and be really on the ball with reality and what is going on.
It's like watching a car wreck in slow motion with my husband. And it really hurts, because I care about him. Even though he is doing most of it to me, I still feel so much pain and sympathy for him because I see the way he is hurting the relationship he has with our kids, with his family, placing value on things that are fleeting, he is setting himself up to be in such a bad place. I almost feel guilty to GAL, because I feel like it is leaving him behind even more and he is already doing so much of that to himself and hurting from it. I don't want to hurt him, which sounds crazy even to me as I say it when I think of what he has been doing to me. I know I will come out of this eventually and be better than I have ever been, it is just really hard now. My H is digging a hole for himself, saying he wants to move on and have all these things, but none of his actions are setting up a scenario for these things. It is sad.
M 36 H 36 D9,S6, Expecting D in August 2012 M 13 T 18 Told me he wanted to separate 12/31/2011 Moved Out 2/2/2012 Didn't want to work on things, wanted divorce 4/20/2012
