Being thankful and praying

[angel61]

Thank you all, Walking and Cyrena, and Starsky.

I am reading and rereading your posts.

As I am having more time to digest what happened over the weekend, I am realizing how true all of what you are saying.

Walking, the way you explain things really does make sense to me. I know I am stubborn, and still in denial, but the harsh and hurtful words from my H did make me see and and accept reality. I have became a clingy wife, the exact opposite of the person he first met and married.

I think I was suicidal more because I finally had backed myself against the wall, and could no longer find any excuses. That was MY rock bottom. For my H, nothing has really changed, and at that point he had to face my self-destructive phase and had to be the strong one at that point. Thus he became the patronizing parent.

Its a long process for me too. My masks are being ripped off, even to myself. I have become an expert in self soothing but did so by over analyzing and using all sorts of "buts".

I don't think this process can be measured by years but more by milestones.