Thanks, SIW. Feeling a little better today. I am starting to believe that I am going to feel better once this D is said and done. Having it dangling overhead like this is just brutal. Maybe when it is all over I will be able to get on with the business of my life - whatever that might be. The lead up and anticipation of events is the worst.
It's hard to do with my son in the middle, but I am really thinking about pulling back even more if possible. It's just that those 5 days runs when he is without me that are hard. I always end up texting w to see if he is OK, what he is up to. Missing him is the worst. Likewise, when I have him she texts all the time asking about him. Hard to break away like that. Plus, sometimes I am just happy to hear from her even if she is only asking about the baby. Sad, but true.
Trying to focus on detatching more - for sure not my strong point - that is well documented on these boards.
I am trying to shift my focus on what to do after the D. How to manage the sadness I am going to have, the guilt I have relating to my part of everything, and frankly - the loneliness. I am really, really going to have to work hard at putting myself out there more to keep my mind busy and meet new people. I am kind of a naturally shy person in new settings so I tend to avoid them. Gotta get over that.
