Hoping my marriage can be saved :(

[Maggie3]

Yikes, and now I just got this email from my husband. Trying to not cry at work.

I was going to try and hold off on writing an email but I'm suddenly very anxious about the whole thing. If it came out strong this morning, I'm sorry but it's kind of how we have to be at this point. We're at two different perspectives right now but from my end I just don't see how trying to work things out is going to change anything. I'm just much happier now. I don't have nightmares, my work is better, I'm probably in the best shape of my life, I feel like I'm getting along better with mom as I don't pick on her. Overall I just don't have the anxiety that I had before. When I step back I see just how stressed and worked up I was. The eye twitch for months, the muscle spasms for months, the neck problems, the angry flip outs, the laziness. It just wasn't for me. It was nothing specific you did, I just don't think us in a relationship worked and I don't think it will work. That's without even saying that this separation will hang over our heads.

Our talk this morning was distressing for me. I understand that we shouldn't rush the process but I also don't want to hang in limbo for months and months. I'm ready to move forward. I'm ready to start dating again. That's probably quick to you but to me it's not. I've been checked out for a while. A lot of people are going to think I'm an a-hole and probably already do. I'm being selfish, I realize that, but I'm ok with the consequences. I know for me, what I want to do. I guess it's part of the "new" me but I really don't give a sh* what anyone else thinks.

I respect you. I haven't said one bad word about you to anyone. I tell people it was me and me alone. Not looking to play the "look how chivalrous I am" card. Like you said, i want this to end amicably. Whatever it is that you need I'll be open to. I 'm going to continue paying as much as I can on the house, if you need any money between now and when the house sells I can help you out. You might not believe it, especially after this email but I truly do want you to be happy. I'm glad you feel better now that we're way from one another.