Last night she gave me a big hug and asked again, "Don't you even love me?" I responded, "Of course I do!" She said that I don't say I love you, hold her hand, or give her hugs/kisses. I've been refraining from these things as I didn't want to trigger guilt, etc. My physical contact has been limited to reciprocating with whatever she initiates and not pushing for more. (ie: if she hugs, I hug. If she kisses, I kiss. etc.)
She said, "See! I'm still not crazy again." And then thanked me for being, "The best dad and a great husband."
About a week ago I told her that maybe we should reevaluate our roles/financial decisions. We both have great jobs, but she makes considerably more than me. However, she feels guilty leaving our son in daycare for 10 hours each day. She hates that we spend 2 hours each day sitting in traffic. Months ago she made frequent comments about wishing she could be a stay at home mom and felt imprisoned by the choices we made prior to the birth of our son. About a week ago I told her that if she was interested we could review our finances and see if we could afford to have her stay home. Yesterday she drafted a rough outline of our finances in an attempt to make this a reality. She stated, "when we have another kid, I don't want to return to work after he/she's born. I couldn't handle the guilt." I'd also prefer to not have strangers (daycare) raising our children.
She held my close while falling asleep last night.
Tonight I'm going to GAL and go out for a bit.
M34 W35 S5 S2 T10 M6 on/off over the years including her A Recently- Nov 2015 bomb Nov 2015-Feb 2016 Reconciling Feb bomb March-April Reconciling May - bomb Mid-May I tell her I'm done
