As you said: "So if your H lost all his and your money, and says he feels very guilty, feels like a failure, etc. there's a few ways you can go. Generally reinforcing his guilty feelings aren't going to help, but neither are false reassurances, and that leaves you in a tough place".
Yes, it does feel tough to know what to do.
But your specific suggestions are just what I needed to hear. I'm so grateful for the time you've taken to give specific, voiced examples of how to respond. How I wish I could see things with your clarity! I feel so dull and zombie-like these days. But I'll keep in mind that I need to focus on and applaud the positives.
H's LL is affirmation, so he'll lap up any amount of appreciation.
I do sense that he is coming back around in the last few days, so hoping this is not just because he wants something from me, but is responding to my consistent attempts to be independent, positive, upbeat and non-judgemental.
Maybe only a couple more years of this before he sees the light! (groan)
