Labug,

You said: "Judgment, blaming, shame all can ruin a R.

I agree, NLW, it's not yours to carry. I think it's monumental that 1) he recognizes this and 2)he articulated it.

He's thinking."

Thanks for your perspective on this.
I hadn't really thought of it as a sign of him working on himself - but now you mention it - it is something. I think I've been so caught up on making my own changes and looking within that i didn't even think about the possibility that he might be doing the same.

And I have read 'How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It'.

If only I'd read it before I took to blaming and shaming him with my anxiety about our business/financial situation.....