What is going on here... and what do I do?

[LIO]

So very true regarding a 'need'. I'm quite okay with that at the moment. I guess it's because i see him as lashing out because he is angry/scared and I think he letting his guard down a bit, protesting as a way of protection, but not acting as defensive as he had just a couple of weeks ago.

I hear you on the potential danger that could happen once H leaves the house. In no way do I want him to go, but I did say I was okay with it and I don't think I get a choice as to if he is going to move out. I have told him that while I would like him to stay, I am okay with his decision to move because it gives him space to figure out what he wants. I told him a relationship with affairs I will not tolerate. I don't know if he would get re involved with the OW... I doubt it as he was rejected and served on a platter to me, (she told me what he was up to -something that if I were ever a OW, I would NEVER do). In the meantime, in the 13 days I have left, I'm trying to make this a nice home to come to (meaning me not being stress and bossy and to let things go!).

One a good note, I have been working on saying things only one time and assuming he hears me. So this morning I mentioned how it would be great if he could adjust his work schedule (he works until 11pm which I find has had a part in killing our relationship and doesn't help him as he doesn't sleep enough) and that he could be home somewhere between 8:00 to 9 before S goes to bed. I said that S would absolutely be thrilled to see him. Well, he shut the door and didn't acknowledge me. So rather than repeat it over and over, I just got ready for work.

I did call him at 7pm and just kept it very light (no relationship talk, just a 'would you rather' question that I thought was a fun conversation starter (remember I'm trying to not be serious!) told him what we were doing, and the handed phone to S). I know he heard us giggling as he hung up, having fun and he seemed down on the phone - but I didn't ask about it.
Anyway, at 8:30p the door opened and he was there and S bolted for the door. I've never seen S so excited.

I was shocked that H actually did it.

Later after S went to bed (later than usual tonight), I said to H: "I don't know what you had to do at work to make this happen, but thank you. I've never seen him so excited, not even about his birthday present." H didn't say anything, but I know he heard me. We watched tv together, I didn't start conversations, but would make a couple comments here or there that he responded to.

Today's mission was to not call, and not email. I called 1 time, and didn't email anything. I think the one phone call with S went well, I was happy with it, and I think it will be okay, and possibly get H reconnected to our home, regardless of what happens.

For me: I had to miss a work event tonight as I got sick again. However, tomorrow night I have a counseling appointment, and I'm starting to reconnect at work (I've struggled with it). I feel more motivated and I've made plans to go to the gym with my girl friend this week.