The doctor's appt went well enough this afternoon. Waited in the waiting room for almost an hour before we went back, then got the cast put on his arm. He has been a trooper. Hasn't even wanted pain meds. I gave him some tonight just to make myself feel better I think.
Interactions with my H were good enough. He was happy and talkative. Still wish I would get the detaching thing down better. It is so hard when we leave and normally we'd all go with him. He mentioned driving around a little to look at the Fort and eating out. That was one of our favorite things to do was to drive around and check out an area, listen to music, talk. Now he doesn't want me along. I just took the kids and we headed home. And I fought not crying and just felt bad. I know I am letting him determine my mood with that. I just can't seem to get it in check though. I guess I need to feel good with the fact that I dealt well with him, we made it through another day without any problems. I feel like I am really starting to have it sink in that he is gone and I don't have my best friend anymore to hang out with and it hurts pretty bad. My idea of family I have is just not there anymore. And who knows if it ever will be again. It makes me look around and really feel like I am not happy with where my life is right now. I know I have to try and find out what will make me happy, I am not doing a good job of that.
We texted a little more tonight, just him checking on our son, small talk, and I am just going to try to be happy that I didn't mess up and we made it through another day with good communication and no blow-ups.
Tomorrow I go to counseling in the morning, then will probaby hear from him later in the day. He was going to go get the kids and take them, then later that night our daughter has a gymnastices program. So we'll all go to that together and the kids were going to spend the night with him at his place. Feeling rough tonight, and lonely. I know I am wallowing in self-pity right now. Time to go to bed and start over again tomorrow.
M 36 H 36 D9,S6, Expecting D in August 2012 M 13 T 18 Told me he wanted to separate 12/31/2011 Moved Out 2/2/2012 Didn't want to work on things, wanted divorce 4/20/2012
