Needing some guidance... 2

[jks]

I spoke with H this morning when he dropped off my baby and told him how inappropriate it was for him to take the kids camping with OW. Btw, he wasn't even going to tell me he was taking them AND he never told me where they were going and when they were coming back. I freaked out on Sunday night because I hadn't heard anything from him and thought, wow, he really thinks this is ok? So I texted him and said, I am worried about the kids. I would like to know if they're ok. Please respond. He responded 15 min later and said they were fine and they're back and they were all asleep.

So I told him this morning that I have a right as their mother to know where he's taking them and for how long and if they got back ok. He said, you're right, that was wrong of me to do. When I told him about going with OW he said he didn't think it would be that big of deal because there was so many people there from work so he knew the kids wouldn't think anything of it. I said, I had no idea who went. For all I knew it was just him and OW. Why couldn't he have told me that? Does he realize that all I do is sit home wondering what the heck he's doing with my kids and OW? I told him either way, this is all too soon and he needs to slow it down a bit. My gosh, I just found out a little over a month ago that he was having a PA and now he's doing overnight camping trips with her and the kids?

I told him how would you feel if I had met someone and decided after a couple weeks that I was going to take the kids and go to Disneyland with him? It's a bit much. And I told him he is asking a lot of me right now.

I asked him if he was happy and he said, well, it's been awful. I said how come? He said because I'm splitting up my family and because I'm hurting you. I said is she worth all of this? He said he really gets along well with her and has a great connection with her. And I said but is she really worth it? You're choosing her over your family. He said, no, I'm not. I said, you are, because you don't get to see your kids weeks at a time some times. You have no idea where I'm going to live. I could end up marrying someone who lives out of state and I am most definitely taking my kids with me if that happens.

He said, you can't do that and I said, really? You're the one who left me. There is no way that you're taking my kids away from me. He has a PA and leaves me and expects that his kids are going to stay with him if I'm forced to move out of state? He is delusional.

I cannot believe this woman is just waiting around for him to get D and continuing this R with him. It is the most incredible thing I have ever witnessed.

I asked him if his family thought it was a little weird that he had her around so much and that they went camping together and he said, well, yeah... but there's not really anything they can do about it. He told me that his mom told him that she was super uncomfortable with the situation. (He's still living with his parents.) Glad someone said something. I was beginning to think that I was the only one who thought this was wrong.

I asked him if OW sleeps over at his parent's house and he said she did last night because he got called out for work from midnight until 6:00 in the morning and he wasn't sure if he was going to be home in time to take S4 to school. I said, well, you could have called his mother to come pick him up. (Wow, there's an idea!)

I also told him that he has completely lost his sense of right and wrong. All he cares about is moving on and having fun. And trying out his new R with his kids. Starting life with his "new" family. I know, I am the worst DB'er ever and probably shouldn't be in these forums. It is the hardest thing to sit by and watch your H openly have an affair and pretend like he's not married when you have three very small children with him and 10 years together. Not to mention the fact that our religion that we both believed in when we got married totally sees this as the 2nd worst sin in the world. It is serious stuff and he is trying to justify it every way he can.

I told him he should really think about this more. He said, I think about it everyday. And started to choke up. I know the man I married is somewhere in there... this woman is blinding him completely. It's almost like he has to try things out with her to make 100% sure that he's made the right decision. And he keeps telling himself that things will get better. (They are most definitely going to get worse before they get better, that's for sure.) Because there is no way that their lives are in reality right now.