"I find it paradoxical that the people who post on this board, who obviously are struggling with a major life-changing event, predominantly seem to take a very passive stance towards my question [about my daughter] - i.e. "don't put her in the middle", "you have no control over the situation", etc...
On the other hand, every 'intact'family I've spoken with (and I've asked a lot of families the same question I've posted here) advocate things like telling my lawyer, confronting my wife, etc...
Why is that???"
Because it's easy to give advice to someone when they've never experienced this for themselves. Everyone here has experienced the pain of seeing their children go through this and have had to make the hard decisions.
Besides, there's no paradox to it. The fact is that your W (and you for that matter) can do whatever you want and actually introduce your D to whomever you go out with. However, if you want to lay down some ground rules, then you should either both talk about it in a calm manner and hammer them out or go to a family C and see what they say.
PLUS the guy isn't even in the states. So it's not like your D will be seeing him all the time. But what about the guy who lives here? If you want to lay some conditions down, then discuss them with your wife. Not in a confrontational way, because nothing good will come out of it and your daughter will suffer in the end.
The question is, have you dealt with your resentment enough that you can do this? That's a question only you can answer.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
