What is going on here... and what do I do?

[kat727]

The sad part about your H being intimate with you is that it most likley is him fulfilling a need. It doesn't necessarily "mean" anything. Women like to think of sex meaning love but at a time like this, don't. Also please remember that you can not control him or how he behaves. You can only control your goals.

As for the ones you kind of set for both of you...did he do any of those things before? If not, it is going to take a lot of work and willingness on his part to get there. You really should set things like that together. Right now you aren't there.

From my personal experience, it was not good when my former H left our house. It gave him a chance to live his life without me and actually I believe spend a whole lot of time with his affair partner though they supposedly had stopped seeing each other at the time. He was on the fence for a while, I could tell that much but I didn't know about these boards at that time and didn't know how to move that to my advantage.

Hang in there. kat