@Hope: You did not, and in not doing so you turned a corner. For me turning that corner was the first time of many that affirmed I would move forward. You will move forward too. It seems to be a common theme here that the WAS pushes and rushes. Sometimes it seems as if they are intentionally attempting to keep the LBS off balance. Maybe some of that is true, but I think they made a decision and just want to see it though. Put a checkmark in the box and go on to the one thing they have decided will make them happy.
There is another common theme here, that when the WAS get to the place where they have been pushing and rushing to they are no happier than when they started. They are the same person struggling to find happiness. Time will tell. Work on you in the mean time.
@Val: (((Val))) I am following along. Just a little further down the road on this day. I can honestly say today was a good day. It stood out because it was so. Perhaps I’ll string a few of them together.
@Grit: There will always be brothers in the field. Each of us takes a turn walking a post so long as we view each other as brothers.
Journaling:It seems anticlimactic, but I think I will stick around for awhile yet.
My sister visited this past week. We accomplished quite a few things at Mom’s house. There are always more items on the punch list than time permits. At least the tree branches are trimmed away from the utility lines. One less worry during a wind storm.
I took a page from LIS and Zen Gypsy and engaged in a little retail therapy. New clothes for the office. Nothing quite as adventuresome as animal print pumps, but some of the shirt colors (lavender) and patterns are outside of my box. My sister kibitzed and we had the sales staff in stitches with our banter back and forth.
The outside archery targets are up and practice has commenced. I am not shooting with the same fervor as last year. I am more relaxed. I did not join the spring league. I am attempting to determine if I can make time to join the 3D shoots this summer. These will be at unknown distance so range estimations skills and angle influence skills are developed
Today one of my associates tendered his two week notice. It came out of the blue and he did it by email at the end of the day. My boss hired him and he sent the notice to both of us. My boss is quite PO’ed. I on the other hand don’t care. I am disappointed as I thought I read him better than that, and this will leave a hole in the department’s productivity. I am surprised at this level of nonchalance. A component of my issues in my marriage was conflict avoidance and peacemaking. Now I am letting it play out as it will. Tomorrow I’ll meet with HR and begin the process of finding another associate. This all seems odd as I am usually quite driven. I just don’t see this as hill to battle for today.
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
@labug: With that post I was attempting to say “shift the focus to you and what you’re doing”, “find joy in your moments”, “let her come to you and then decide your next action”. I think my message was lost. I am either so blunt I give offense or so obtuse I am not understood.
To respond to your question N. Ohio, born and raised within ten miles of Lake Erie as the crow flies. The apple orchard however is on a cousin’s farm in WV.
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
I got what you meant by the post but your description of hunting in the apple orchard took me back to childhood memories of So Ohio-almost the same thing as WV.
Thanks.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Journaling: Thursday I received notice of a registered letter awaiting pickup at the post office. Reading the notice caused me to contemplate the rollercoaster run again.”WTF the judgment went in 10 days ago. We’re D’ed! I’m being summoned again???” So for two days I waited to pick up the letter. I wasn’t going to let it affect me. I would pick up the letter in my own time on Saturday! No turns out the city is advising me by letter I need to install sidewalks before September 30th. Pretty anticlimactic. The stint stewing lasted about 15 min Thursday afternoon until I decided to take control of myself.
Saturday I did mundane chores around the house and some prep work for the backyard barn and deck projects. These cannot begin in earnest until after my budget shakes out, but in the meantime I can clear the ground and accomplish layout work.
Saturday a national hardware chain was giving away a free quart of paint in exchange for contact information. My daughter and I took advantage of this. Looks like the upstairs bathroom will get a coat of paint soon. One half gallon might cover it if it gets a coat of primer first. We’ll see.
Sunday the dog and I participated in Paws for a Cause. It was in support of a local shelter. I think he got more out of it than I did. It was another opportunity to socialize him. He did very well. Sunday night I attended a movie with my daughter, SIL2 and SIL1’s son.
SIL2 alluded to XW creating more angst over the family maintaining contact with me. I told her I was sorry it was continuing and that for my own peace I would rather not discuss it. IDK how this will turn out. It is a shame as XW was very close to her sisters and her actions are driving them further away.
I visualize an old phonograph, the recording has ended and the stylus is skipping. XW needs to reset the stylus or change the platter.
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
An analytical driver rescuer with nice guy tendencies whose XW decided she no longer wished to play the victim for. She shifted to persecutor and tried to cast me as the victim, finding rescuers elsewhere. She is not happy and is stuck in this pattern, repeating past behaviors seeking her bliss. I (Taking my ball and going home) refuse to dance with her. I will find myself and my happiness elsewhere. Hindsight.
Guess now I am the WAS, perhaps I always was.
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
