Exactly! She doesn't deserve to draw breath as far as I am concerned
I have such a different outlook now about T. Now that I see the P/A behavior. SL is just an annoyance to me now.
She could have a PhD,MBA,CSW, and I still doubt she would be able to adjust to him!!
So I just put on my happy face and shut my mouth. Low and behold last evening he pipes up with uncertainty about Her. She called here late in the evening last night to tell him the depo for today, might be cancelled!!!!
After driving all this way and the expense, a delay is certainly not welcome. They have known about this depo for three months!
Well, T got a little hot under the collar about it,and after talking about it he said it seemed strange that she was now calling about a delay because earlier in the day the other sides attorney said directly too him that they will be there!! So he e-mailed her and told her to tell the other side that they are expected there or he will file a complaint against their resistance to appear. She answered back and said she would call him back in the morning and let him know. Well....7:30 this morning she calls!
He realizes this morning that she could not have gotten an answer from the "other side" about a delay, that early in the morning and that she is either "playing" or manipulating him.
Duh!
She had suggested that T come back in a few weeks and stay the weekend with her, to save hotel costs,( yeah, right) and then he could do the remaining two depos then!!
Noooooo, she's not trying to drag this out. ( is ther a emoticon for sarcasm?)
So this morning he asks me to go with him to the depo. Off "WE" go to the depo
Ya know, not that looks are anything, but she came in all in black....tight top, and a tight skirt...... It made her ass look horrible!!!! All lumpy and HUGE!! Of course she had no way of knowing I would be there and it threw her off!! I WAS SO PLEASED ABOUT THAT.
Anyways, when it was all over and we were on the way back to the hotel, T mentioned it!!!!(her "ass"). Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
I just looked at him and smiled, and said, yeah, well what if she had a great "ass"? him: well, then it would be all over....(slight smile) me: well, if that's what you want, you go for it, because if she's your idea of what you want, you're welcome to it.
He was absolutely silent. I just smiled and said I was going to the pool to work out!
Which I did.
Then I called, all 4 of the kids, my mother AND my sister and got caught up.
Tommorow morning, I am going to Greenridge and get some more of the stuff I left behind. My crockpot, vacume cleaner, carpet cleaner, xmas decos and some MORE memorabilia from the kids.... (((((((I am also going to dig up those Lillies that D22 gave me a couple of mother's day's ago and TAKE them!!!!!!!! )))))))))))
S27 will be driving down to our place tommorow night and we will meet him there, as we are scheduled to leave tommorow. I am driving of course, and we're stopping at D25 on the way. She and her fiance just closed on a townhouse!!So this will be my first peek
Oh....and guess what?? When I went to the pool, a very nice man struck up a convo and asked me to breakfast, in the hotel tommorow!!!
Of course I won't go, but getting asked was great!
Let's see that's number four by my count
Wonder you were asking what the offers were:
Two dinners, one lunch and tonight a breakfast offer! All four different men, and they all seemed very nice!
Maybe there's something in the water?
Well, tommorow will be a long day. I won't be back on until thursday. Hope you are all doing okay. Enjoy yourselves whatever you do.
Quote: Wonder you were asking what the offers were: Two dinners, one lunch and tonight a breakfast offer! All four different men, and they all seemed very nice!
Oh no... I knew what they were... I was asking on a big picture level. Cause I just don't think that was some flukey coincidence... it was confirmation of things you already know. At least that was my read.
I also think you are right, those were not random incidents but rather a message to me to see some of my own worth.(Boy did I ever need it!) No denying, it was GREAT for the ego!
Well, that week was pretty weird all around. A homecoming of a strange sort to my empty, lifeless house,that used to be our home. Hard to see it all disheveled and unheated with nothing now but dirty carpet and walls that are in need of a coat of paint.
A "confrontation" (meeting Shark lady) unexpectedly, which I was actually prepared for before I left, but was rather hoping would not happen, in reality I was torn on this. I would have LOVED to show her up and take her to pieces, but at the same time I was afraid of my own reaction to her, or rather my inability to hide my extreme dislike of her in front of T and anyone else present. ????????
An immersion in T's lawsuit world, which I soooooo resent because it left us in such bad shape last year
Deadline pressures on the books which meant T's preoccupation with finishing, rather than have some leisure time with me in our "burgh".
A heartfelt time with our youngest D22 , and a gigantic physical move of stuff and household goods for both D22 (finally graduating and leaving college) and my sorting through our own home's remaining things. Then the mad dash back down to NC! I DROVE THE WHOLE WAY!!
only to be met with our ELDEST S27 on our doorstep the evening we returned. Which rolled right into 2 hectic days of shopping and prep for Christmas and another wild trip to get the girls back safely home through Virginia and the storm that dumped 14 inches just where they were going!!
I haven't felt much like posting, mostly because I think nothing has come up that I felt unsure about handling since we got back and the holidays just came too fast and furious after our trip! I've been to content to stay off line and just poke my head up here and there to say HI!! I try to keep up with everyone's posts but end up feeling rather guilty when I don't have time to post to everyone I'd like to!!!
I cannot begin to tell you all how much my "discovery" of T's passive aggressive nature has been for me. This has been the real key.
I see EVERYTHING about our interactions now sooo totally different. In an odd twist, have been able to empathize with where he gets his perceptions from. I have such a different view of him now. I see someone who is not all that sure of himself. Not really in control of very much and very defensive when it comes right down to it.
I have begun to look at NOT being married to him and what that would mean for me AND for him. For a few weeks there between Thanksgiving and New Years I wasn't so sure I could do this.....be married to SUCH a p/a man.......but, I continue to see growth and potential.
I even have stood more firmly and solidly, when trying to discuss issues. Surprise, surprise!!
But for all this, I now see myself as a much stronger person and I seem to see his weaknesses more than ever.
I will no longer let hurtful things he says just go unresponded to. I no longer ignore, bad moments or uncomfortable silences....these get addressed.
I also have been trying to be assuring with lots of physical affection and really listening when we talk, LOTS of EYE CONTACT!! Can't stress how important THAT is.......and continued assurances that I want him and find HIM desirable. But I have been careful to not hover and to act rather indifferent when he gets a phone call or emails.( I will however continue to occassionally snoop and listen in when I can without resorting to contortioning my body to hear!
Next up is confronting him when he is P/A with one of the kids......
I think this area is going to be a greater challenge, because I musn't come off as though am defending "them" but rather trying to point out how HIS behavior hurts and alienates them.....maybe he'll get the point that HE has been the one damaging his relationships with them ALL ALONG!!!!
Hie Trish - Hope all's well in your neck of the woods. I keep reading your last post as it resonates so much over here too.
Quote: But for all this, I now see myself as a much stronger person and I seem to see his weaknesses more than ever. I will no longer let hurtful things he says just go unresponded to. I no longer ignore, bad moments or uncomfortable silences....these get addressed.
Just sometimes, I'm able to see the gift in this painful experience
( is ther a emoticon for sarcasm?)
