In some ways, death of a loved one is easier than them walking away after many years together. Because you don't have to interact with them after they are physically dead. You don't have dead people making false accusations and saying crazy stuff about and to you, or to your kids. You don't interact at all if they are physically dead.
That's the key, Tad. Your ex is "dead", or at least the one you knew is "dead". It's hard to see that because you still interact.
25 makes a good point and gives you something to think about so you don't stay stuck grieving and not living. That would be a tragedy for a you to be analyzing this for the rest of your life and always looking back. I know you are still grieving and figuring out who you are without her, but you can't stay that way forever Tad. It's not healthy nor fair to you and your boys.
You don't control her decisions. You do control yours. You do control when you say enough is enough and heal yourself. You do control when you accept that your ex is "dead" and was replaced by something else that looks like her and sounds like her (in some ways). You do control when you have had enough. When you stand up for yourself and take responsibility for you and you alone (and your boys).
You can also see from 25's post that life is short and can be worse than anything you've faced so far. Life is short, stop looking back and start being the man you want to be. Start demanding the respect from others that you deserve. Start living the way you want to live. You are coming out of the initial shell shock and are starting to regroup. Continue that. Continue to figure out what really makes you happy without the "dead" haunting you. Tune that out. You can't control that aspect and you need to let it go sooner than later.
Venting? I'm all for it. But time to take the work further, Tad. We all need to do that and to realize we alone control our decisions and nobody else's. We control our reactions to those decisions and actions.
Keep moving Tad. Things are starting to go your way because you have made it that way. Keep moving. Peace, AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
