My ex did talk the talk, although she hasn’t walked the walk. I had a gut feeling that she was saying all the right things and it seemed she was not really ready. I can’t be certain that she will for quite some time if ever. It upset her because I wouldn’t just jump back in right where we left off. I couldn’t and she made a demand to move 1000 miles away to be near her parents. Actually I didn’t say I wouldn’t move, I just told her that we would have to work slow at finding out if we could get back together before I made such a drastic change. We have a granddaughter that we need to think about and the relationship between the two teens is shaky at best. My ex was upset that I hadn’t looked for a job within three days of hanging out and talking. I feel she wants things just to go back to the way things were in the past. I knew that wouldn’t work and said this is going to take time and patience to start something new. I took my time and thought about the best course of action to put us back together and she only heard what she wanted to hear. I am only willing to do this the right way and if that makes me the bad person I can live with that. I have plenty of empathy for my ex, it’s just that I deserve nothing but the best for the girls and me. I keep telling myself only a fool would rush into a misguided relationship. I felt that she was jumping in blindly and really just bouncing around like a squirrel in the middle of a busy street.
The problem is my ex is still in MLC land and I don’t think she is thinking logically. The good news is she has started opening up a little to her dad. She told him that she is very ashamed of something but she hasn’t actually told him what makes her feel the shame. I know this is an important part for the MLCer when they are coming out and I am happy she is showing signs that she is moving possibly towards the end of her dilemma. When she is really done with this MLC crap I should be able to see it in her actions. Right now she needs to continue on her journey and I will continue on mine.
Because my D18 and her boyfriend broke up over the weekend my ex thought that D18 would just move with her and start her life over. What neither of us knew is D18 is pregnant again. When it rains it pours on my parade. It looks like I am going to have my second grandchild in December. I am disappointed that my D18 is making poor choices in her life. As a father I wanted my kids to have better than what I had through life. I kind of feel I have failed as a father with my D18. I wish she would start making better choices in life and I am pretty much just beating my head against the wall. I know I can’t control what anyone does in life. I just wish she would make responsible choices in life. I am trying to look for the good in this situation but that is a difficult task.
For something positive I now have two teenage daughters. I don’t think the youngest will add as many grey hairs as the oldest has. We had a great weekend and a house full of kids. Great time all around.
I have an awesome camping trip planned for this weekend. A group of friends are heading out for an awesome 3 days of fun in the sun and the weather looks like it will cooperate. I feel blessed to have some great friends. I need a break from my ex and the teenage drama, this should be what the doctor ordered.
Have a great week everyone.
Me 44 W 38 M 18 D 18 D 13 Bomb 10/21/2010 Divorced 7/19/2011 Just getting to the 7th inning!
