h accused me of judging him during the first therapy session .
i was so upset about it - really really upset. and afterwards realized after talking to my friend and mil, that what he is really saying is that he is judging himself more than anyone else is judging him.
it maybe the same here - your h is talking more about how he is judging himself, i think.
as for "coming back from this" - don't take this burden on your self - it's not yours to carry. if your actions and words are not judgmental - you know that he's talking about himself.
my first reaction was also, how can i change that image in h's mind - but remember about not believing what they say - i think it really applies here.
they are scrambling hard to justify everything they are doing, and the longer the sitch has gone on, the more they are scrambling.
also - no assuming , remember - drives us crazy. so chalk the comment up to another attempt at him trying to provoke you (i bet , in the old days you would have both landed up arguing about it) or just unnerve you, let it go, and go back to doing your own thing.
btw - calling everyday, about picking up the kids?
is there a potential boundary setting scenario here on your part? can you be too busy to pick up the phone? or send a text earlier in the day and give him the time - there's an opportunity for a juicy 180 there on your part.
there's something about him calling everyday that smacks of keeping you pulled in and him calling the shots - especially over something like that , which could be handled differently?
hope you have a great day today
zig
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
