I still cringe when I think of what happened last night. I walked into my IC appointment today and I said I made a huge mistake last night. She said, "I think I know what you are going to say." And she did. She said that would be a very normal response to the way he was acting during our session, because we really seemed to be connecting.
I spent most of the day trying to get it and him out of my mind. I really had felt detachment on some level until yesterday, but he was acting so connected I let my guard down. Lesson learned. I hope.
I have not texted, called or emailed him anything today. Pulling way back after yesterday.
Betsey- I have been thinking a lot about what you wrote. Thank you for taking the time to give me such thoughtful advice, I appreciate it.
I think that I said ok to the family dinners for 2 reasons.
1. I want to give him a little "taste" of what he is missing, the kids are at such a cute age and they love dinnertime because they get our undivided attention, it has always been a bonding time for us, we used to do it every night. 2. The kids do really seem happier when the 4 of us are together. We haven't officially told them yet, so I am not sure how they will act after they know he has moved.
As far as the other stuff, I hear you. I feel like he hasn't had to miss anything yet, because he is making the rules. I get confused on this because before the bomb he says I controlled everything, so me being flexible is a 180. But like many people express here, when am I a doormat and when am I effectively DBing? I am not sure yet, still a newbie.
Today I guess I am feeling so confused. I need to detach and set boundaries. It is easy when I don't see him, but when he is here being a good dad and engaging me in conversation and grabbing my hand as he walks by me, it is hard not to get sucked back in.
Sorry if this post is scattered, but that is how my brain is right now...
M 37, H 37 M 10, T 12 S 4 D 2 3/14/12 ILYBNILWY 4/2/12 H consults a L, files nothing 4/26/12 H moves to his new place
