And thanks for the compliment. It means a lot coming from you.
Do I know the answer? Yes and no. I think. Sort of.
LET IT GO. I will not force myself or my family on anyone. I will continue to keep in touch with my steps and have a relationship with my grands, albiet not like before. This is a disaster not of my making, and against my will. All I can do is be as graceful and mature as possible in the face of adversity.
Right?
ME: 54 Him: 51 M: 20 years T: 21 years OW/New wife: 36 Sons & Daughters: 7 (ages 24-36) Bomb: March 4, 2010 He Filed: April 28, 2010 I Contested: May 1, 2010 Standing Down: 11/24/10 Divorced : 05/04/2011
Punkin, I'm so sorry about you and your family not being notified of the birth. It's difficult for everyone and I guess what needs to happen is the dust will have to settle and they will need to find a way to sort the uncomfortable things out. It will take a while, but I do think your "steps" will be in touch w/you and your family again one day soon. For now, as you pointed out...let it go.
Punkin, you are one gracious and strong lady and your love for life shines through in every posting. That light will help guide your family back in the right direction in the very near future.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
It must've hurt so much not being informed about the birth. You were their mother for so long, and the grandmother of their children, and it seems they have chosen OW over you. But, it's not that simple, as you know. They have chosen to keep the channels open to their father, and that appears to mean no contact with you or their step-siblings. They are probably being told his whacko version of the break-up. I bet they don't know about the OW's brief theft of your ID (am I getting this right?). You just don't know what cr@p they're being told, and they would want to believe their father.
I agree with T and S and you ... let it go. If they had any love for you, they will realize what they're doing, if they're good people. Otherwise, they were never truly yours, and you have to let them go, as you had to let xh go. Time will lessen the pain, dull the memories. How are your children feeling about this?
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Just checkin in so that my post doesn't slip into the MLC Twilight Zone. Nothing much to report. Life goes on, and is more good than bad. I bought the new baby a gift and took it to the house; got to hold the baby.
Still waiting on the Alimony wagon to kick in. Last notice said he was waiting for the monies from the sale of the house. I believe this should be catagorized Not My Problem, but I'll hold my breath just a bit longer.
Life is Work, Home, Church, and Wal-Mart. I'm quite scandelous, as I have been seen at the Library as often as once a week. I've even been seen mowing my lawn in an old pair of Charlie Brown PJ's. Men are flocking to my door. The mailman, the water meter reader, the gas meter reader, the trashman.. . . . To spice up my Saturday nights, I go the the grocery and fell up the avocadoes. Not to sound ungrateful or unhappy. I am in a sort of peaceful limbo, what you might call a Induced Social Coma. Good for healing of the mind and body.
Best be off to bed, I have a new library book, and if the neighbors see my lights on after 8 P.M., they may come to check on me.
Punkin - after the maelstrom of MLC, boring is good. I love your description of it as an induced social coma. I love my slightly comatose state - like being on valium with no side effects. I have some glorious fleece pjs that I have been known to get into as early as 7pm [on those occasions I tend not to go out again, so as not to cause comment]. Now that is what I call life in the fast lane.
In a bit of funny on the PJ train.... I went through my drawers with much hate in my heart, I tossed everything I don't look cute in. A whole bunch of sleepwear went bye-bye.
I bought some new stuff and have been enjoying dressing up to go to bed. It is all about me!
Aloha!
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
Bea - Get INTO @ 7 p.m. I've been known to not get out of them at all. Side benefit of living alone. As to Weni's pj cleansing spree, CUTE is not something I look for in PJ's anymore. COMFORT is more my style. As in, old soft T shirt and men's boxers comfort. I must admit though, if I mowed in some frilly thing with high heels, I would probably get more attention. There's a mental picture for you. I'm picturing pink marabou. How 'bout you?
Punkin you are beyond hysterical. Of all of us here, you'd probably write the book that would make the most money :-)
M45 Bomb 6/09; EA 6/10; Divorced 1/11 Proud single mom of 7 little feline girls and one little feline boy "Fall down 53 times. Get up 54." -- Zen saying
