My Story/Mixed Messages...

[2012sf]

Tonight, we also went to the event at my son's school and I think it was a fairly good evening. Nothing major, but pleasant. We met there and walked around the books and the kids looked around. I tried to not hover around my husband and things seemed to be going alright. Saw lots of people I knew and they were all asking about our son and what the doctor said. I was very talkative to them all and I think looked pretty happy and comfortable with the whole situation. Lots of people asking about the baby, since I'm showing pretty obviously now. That was kind of interesting, since nobody knows we are separated, so I just played it off, talked about how happy we were about it, and that seemed to go well with everyone. Husband included.

He did at one point tell me he wanted to thank me for what I said to him earlier today, out of nowhere. He said he is having a rough time right now and worried about bonding with the baby. He said it really helped for me to talk about him helping with it and having time with it and stuff. I plan on breastfeeding, but I said I would get a pump too so that I could pump and after that was all going smooth he would be able to spend more time with her and take her on outings and stuff. And that we'd see what we needed to get doubles on so we wouldn't have to switch so much gear back and forth. I'm trying to not contradict his moving out and divorce after baby scenario, just trying to act like his wife that he is having a baby with and preparing to take care of it properly. Anyway, I guess I did good, he told me thank you and I told him we would handle it together and that I was glad he talked to me and that he can talk to me about anything, anytime something is on his mind. Communication was one of the failings we had in the past, so I am really trying to be open and let him know he can say anything to me and feel safe and that I'm not going to react badly, just be there for him.