The road to hell is paved with both good intentions and LBSs.
So I had to drop my S off at w's condo today after I picked him up. She had asked me to bring a spare land line phone (I cancelled mine) because hers had stopped working. I brought it, set it up for her - no problem at all. Was happy to do it.
I am scheduled to have him this weekend beginning on Friday and return him to her the coming Tuesday. As I was standing in her kitchen, she said "I was hoping maybe I could see him this weekend." Which, to me, is always a good thing because it gives us a chance to spend time together as family - which I enjoy. So just as I was about to reply, she said "my sister and the guy she's dating are going up to Sedona (ironically, the site of our wedding) to celebrate her birthday and I was thinking we could go up an meet them for the day". Instantly, I was shocked - I looked at her and said "Do you mean all three of us or were you just referring to you and S?". Clearly I thought it was the former, since it was my Saturday with him. She snapped at me "I DON'T LIKE THE PRESSURE!!!".
I was taken aback a bit and told her that was not at ALL my intent - I was just trying to clarify. Honest to God, I was not trying to pressure whatsoever. In a huff, she just looked down and said "we can just talk about it later". I left feeling awful - I had NO intent of pressuring her...not an ounce! I was just asking to clarify. Clearly she was referring to taking my Saturday with him and driving up to Sedona to spend time with her sister and her boyfriend. I was thinking she meant the three of us and wanted clarification to be sure.
I feel like I walked out of there looking like a jerk - and I really don't think I did anything wrong. Granted, I guess she has a HIGH level of sensitivity to these things.
Now I would imagine the pending question is going to be can she have him all day on Saturday. Part of me wants to say "sure", to do the 180. And part of me wants to stand ground and say no. Keep in mind she booked her June vacation with him to include one of my custody days without even asking me.
If we are really working on things together, I mean REALLY trying - my capacity for flexibility is almost infinite. But if our M is not just a matter of the courts - and we LITERALLY have temporary court orders dictating our time with him - then we have to abide by it. I kind of feel as if she wants it both ways - to have a divorce, but to have unlimited flexibility in scheduling at my expense.
I feel trapped. Do one thing and you're a doormat. Do the other, and you have not changed at all....you're still the same....everything has to be your way.
Ugh. I pray that I do not have a lifetime of this ahead.
