Crap, Ellie, thanks! You've just helped nail things a little better... that comment about choosing not to date and having it come back to bite me is darned accurate! Okay, I will admit that out loud that I think you're leading me down the right path there.

Well... it started out after 3 consecutive guys about 70 asked me out. WTF? The first time I was flattered. Actually, the 2nd time it happened I swear the guy was close to 80. Now give me a bigger and louder WTF. Then... please laugh at this because I did... you know how Facebook has targeted advertising? Well, while D18's advertisements are about health classes, healthy eating and contraception, mine are about supplements for seniors and "Sexy Seniors"!!!! I swear I was nearly convinced that 50 is the new 40, but with this age thing, I'm not feeling it yet. grin Add the shingles and I'm feeling a little like a senior target on my back. LOL

So anyway, I pretty much made that choice initially because of D18's volleyball. I'm the bookkeeper and I have NO regrets. We've lived our past 7 years as gypsies, following her team around the country to competitions. Club volleyball season ends with Nationals in July... we'd have a month reprieve and she'd be back on varsity through November. It's a full time lifestyle, and XH and I (and my extended family) have loved every doggone minute of it. Owning my own company (yeah, that happened in 2008), the BS that goes along with making decisions and payroll (big time stress), working a second job and all the other typical mom stuff in between... well, it didn't really lend itself to the dating thing. Plus you throw in that my XH travels quite a bit and you have the recipe for abandoning self care and going into survival mode.

And damn it, I DO have trust issues! When I started this path, I was 40 (almost 41). I haven't seen a whole lot of good enough out there... in fact, I think because I haven't seen much that would interest me, I just made the decision to stay on top of my busy life instead. But the bad part of that equation is that I didn't work on those trust issues.

Ellie, I saw what you wrote about double standards in dating young and you have no idea what a nerve that hit. Since XH is dating a 35 year old, it was already there. Then my sister sent me an article in an Indy paper about this 50 year old guy who said he can't stand women his age because they were old. Ugh. Okay, I need to get on this one. I don't know where to start. I can't start dating someone... anyone... and be fair to him when I haven't done some more work on myself.

Okay, if you saw my FB profile, I have a cougar crush and his photo is adorning my page. I've told D18 that if I were going to go hog wild into cougarland, I'd go for BB player, Kenneth Faried. She and her friends just laugh. I know. So do I. But in big girl Betsey world, I really would like someone closer to my own age. (Which is not 70!!!) I have some boundaries that I will not cross: he can't hate his XW, and he has to realize that D15 and I are a total package. Some guys just can't handle that. I'm okay with that and understand...

So: 1) any books on dealing with trust issues; 2) once I'm feeling better about identifying how I could set myself up for success, I'll venture in the dating pool. Uh, where's the pool? I seem to have thrown away all my maps. grin

Thanks for weighing in... I missed you guys.

smile Betsey

"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

Albert Einstein