It's pretty typical for LBSers to over-analyze and work really hard at changing ourselves...
... we are the only ones we CAN change.
But the mindset needs to be "This is what I realized I don't like about myself".
My w told me early on that I was too negative and selfish.
She was spot on with my negativity and although she contributed to it greatly.. it was still my choice to change me...
... and at first I did it so she would see, but then I started doing it because it was who I wanted to be.
I wanted to positive and loving with or without her.
The challenge becomes when the WAS is just spewing BS vs. truth. Overtime I learned that although my w was right about me being negative.. she was full of crap about me being selfish.
I guess my point being is that it's hard to see all of this when you are deeply hurting and feel desperate to get your w back.
But take your w out of the equation for one second. Envision who you would like NG to be... as a person, as a partner..
... now tell us.. who is that person??
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
