Well, I made it to the post office just before they closed the doors!! The post office here is sooooo small it's downright laughable....and every day at 3 in the afternoon they close the doors in order to finish processing everyone who is in line so they can close by 4!
The mail here has to go to Rocky Mount, then to Norfolk, then to Philly...before finally sprouting out across the country. Gawd!! it takes forever to get something mailed! I think I told you about the time they closed down cuz they smelled something funny?? Closed the PO, for 2 DAYS!!
Turned out to be some rotting flower bulbs in a package!!!!!! They ACTUALLY calle dd the state HAZMET team and had to wait a day til they got here to examine the package!!!
Expand away!!
I am in need of as much direction as I can get! I feel like I happened upon a treasure chest, and am just beginning to realize it's potential. :shock:
You brought up so many excellent points.
Of course it would be typical p/a behavior to say yes, but not really want to or intend to carry through. thus a yes, is not nessessarily a yes......it's a maybe.
Which then causes the other person to be in a continual stage of uncertainty. Do you make plans counting on their yes, do yo wait til the last minute to see what really will happen?
Right you are again! They are saying yes, to ward off any perceived conflict, basically just to get out of whatever is facing them!!
Your next idea: Telling him it's okay to say NO, seems VITAL!!!
I have NEVER DONE THAT!!!!!! WOW!! I think I will deliberately start saying that just to give him choice!!! Particularly to things I really don't care all that much to doing!!
LOL LOL
Your Next point:
I too find myself "asking" for something, only to feel like I am begging, or rationalizing, why we/he should do this my way....again, not really giving him much choice!!
He most likely feels cornered (wouldn't we all!)
Your example of the interaction between the two of you about what to do with the girls, was PRIMO!
GIGANTIC KUDOS to you for realizing what you were doing mid-sentence and back tracking! Looks like it worked too, because he was able to give you HIS reasoning, and you were able to come to awin-win, mutually agreeable solution!!!
Hurray, for Betsey for being SOLUTION FOCUSED!!
I picked T up from work today, and I was STARVING before I got there.... I thought about how very much I would like to try the new Sonic Burger place (I was tired, I was hungry, I didn't feel like cooking, I know I have nothing in the house, and want to do something fun!!) I practically timed my "performance" ( I am sooo embarrassed now). I "prepped" the customer=T, by saying how STARVING I was when I picked him up, asked him if he was hungry too? (He said no, but I KNEW he was lying I could see his expression.......He just felt a manipulation coming and wanted to resisit!!!) So I waited til we were 1 block from the Sonic burger and I POUNCED! Hey, wanna get a Sonic Burger, I'll even Pay!! I offered.and I HAVE NO MONEY!!!..and besides we want to go work out later right!! If we eat now we will be all digested and ready to go.......blah, blah
We went.
Now to be honest, it was fun..... But, T couldn't understand a word the girl said through the speaker phone......He was a bit embarrassed at his hearing disability.
They got his order wrong...... But he still managed to say how good the burger was.
AND he even ordered an ice cream desssert!! Not a good thing for me to encourage given his high cholestrol....again soooo embarrassed am I
But, now that I see the choice dynamic better, this would have been one of those, "good things to give him the choice on!" In the end, I could have gotten something to eat at home.....and what if it had been terrrible???? He would have probably felt "conned" into going to a bad fast food place!
Well, like I said my friend, your 2 cents is worth all it's weight in gold!!!
:shock: 
