Picking up where we left off . . . I'm OnMyWay

[OnMyWay]

Took the weekend to step back. Sunday I was invited out with some of my buddies for some much needed male bonding. It was a good change to step away - Old fashioned GAL, which felt great!

Thanks for all the 2x4's. Refreshed, I better understand what you are all telling me. It all a lot to wrap my mind around, but much of it makes perfect sense.

I'd like to back up to Starsky's question, as it is has new relevance at this point. W had been different in her attitude since the last Retro meeting. I was uneasy about the whole "no-contact/transparency" thing, so I asked. She admitted she was in contact with her OM over the weekend. She was uncomfortable giving me details - I do know it was a phone call, but didn't push for details - she said "it didn't matter who called who, as it was my choice to take or make the call either way." She did become defensive, but I did my best to remain calm and be understanding. Even with her defensive posture, I took great strides to be non-confrontational.

After, I thanked her for her honesty, as I think it is much better to have her be upfront about things than it is to lie and sneak. I went to get ready for work. After I was done, she came in and apologized & bawled. Wasn't sure where to go with it, so I let it go, listened and tried my best to be understanding.

I'm feel as if I'm learning the hard way. I think you guys should write a "rule book" or a "DBing for Dummies."

One thing for sure, after all the above, I'm going to try taking much smaller steps. For now, back to basics for me. An honest 180 seems appropriate.