P.S. May, I just read the rest of your post, as I was only responding to the first part.
Who would want to be around someone who is not behaving as an equal partner?
This is what made it so easy for me to get over ex-BF in the end. Truth was, I grieved and mourned the loss of my family life, and another sibling, and a house, and a family, and a relationship, and all that, but in the end, I DO NOT want to be around him and his behavior. Ick.
If he behaved like a 34-year-old, a man, stopped being a victim, etc. Sure. THAT would be hard to lose.
Unless your H is just able to "turn it off" or "turn it on" - meaning being an adult, I suspect it's really going to take SOMETHING to force him to grow up. I don't know what. But you might be a trigger (maybe it's a mom thing) for him rebelling.
