STOP PUTTING YOUR KIDS IN THE MIDDLE My second is STOP GRILLING YOUR D – no matter how subtle you feel you are doing this, you still are PRYING for information and you are USING your D. YOUR anger and HURT is causing you to do this. I get it man I really do. It still is NOT right.
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Dude had his own family, and has two kids of his own.
SO WHAT. What does this have to do with you and your D? Nada…
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To me, it is irrational (and damaging to our daughter] to expose her to the ex-boyfriend in this manner.
AND it is not damaging to your daughter to grill her? Have you considered how your D may have felt? Buddy, I am warning you NOW. Keep your kids out of it.
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What kind of reasonable [still married] woman would think, “Okay daughter, while we’re in China for the next couple of weeks, you and I (and no one else) are going to spend the night at “ShuShu’s house.” How could she think that's a reasonable thing to do?
Would you agree that a marriage is composed of 1) an emotional M and 2) a legal M? If you do, then you need to accept that YOUR W is emotionally divorced from you and as such is doing what any batchit crazy MLC person would do.
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What kind of behavior is my wife modeling by doing this to our daughter?
Do you let your D watch cartoons? Do you allow her to watch movies? Do you really think that YOU can CONTROL everything that your D sees and models? Answer – NO. What you can control is YOU and YOUR ACTIONS. Be a good Dad to her. That you can control. NOT your W.
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How is a 4-year old girl supposed to process this information/experience?
Focus on YOU instead of YOUR W. How is your D supposed to process being grilled? Hmmmmm
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How is she supposed to know the difference between right and wrong
She will KNOW the difference because of YOUR ACTIONS!
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when her mom takes her to spend the night at some guy’s house who my daughter has never met before…all the way on the other side of the world in China, who she has simply been told is her “ShuShu.
You know what this is ^^^^ right up there ^^^^^? ANGER and PAIN from YOU. Totally normal dude, totally. How YOU Deal with it is what really matters.
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What does a little girl do with that kind of experience when it happens to her when she is only 4-years old???
She will deal with it the best way she can. Part of those skills are what SHE LEARNS FROM YOU.
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If my wife was that determined to spend the night with the guy she should have left my daughter at home with her grandparents (my wife’s parents). It's as simple as that.
Yeah I get that….BUT what if she does end up divorcing you – do you think that you will be able to control your W for the rest of her life? [censored] – I know – Now though is a time for YOU to SHINE. NOW is the time for YOU to SHOW YOUR D the values that your batchit W cannot.
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It's altogether immoral and irrational (any way you slice it) to take her half way across the world to spend the night at some strange guy's house...who just happened to be my wife's affair partner...who also just happens to have two kids of his own...instead of simply leaving her at home with her own grandparents.
So…..if you know that YOU cannot control it what options do you have? Why not, turn the focus away from YOUR W and towards YOU. Why not focus on YOUR actions and NOT hers? Mental, the whole MLC thing [censored] big time. It really does….it also though can be a LIFE TRANSFORMING EVENT IF YOU ALLOW IT TO BE. God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
