Stuck in Holding Pattern

[bustorama]

I could, but I don't see a point. I'm trying to persue my W again. Slowly. She never felt like I made her feel like she was special to me. I dont see how ignoring her for another 17 days is going to benefit our M. I've tried that. Didn't work.

Ben,

I think Gr8 is spot on and has firsthand experience with this dynamic. TRUST HIM. Your W does not want you to pursue her at this point. She knows exactly how you feel. You approached her and put your heart on the table. She did not reciprocate.

Her, "I don't know what to say." and "You are too good for me for everything I have put you through" are classic/script responses for I don't feel it for you the same way that you feel it for me. Your letter probably just reminded her of that in a negative way.

You have to stop trying to woo/pursue/convince her of anything. Your path to success is to accept that she doesn't feel it for you (now) and live your life accordingly. You can't make her love you.

Any rapproachment will come from HER figuring things out on her own, with her beginning to approach YOU again. It is if and when SHE approaches YOU, that you can make her feel special with some flirting or little words of affirmation or acts of service. NOT when you initiate it -- when she is not missing you or feeling it for you. And even these responses on your part need to be flirty and measured -- like you might interact with any other woman you find special and attractive -- and then you move on with yourself (so that she can pursue you more).

I went MONTHS living my own life and enforcing no contact with my W before things began to change. 17 days really is not much, but it is a decent start. Your clock has reset with the letter, now, though.

I had badly neglected and mistreated my W too. If she still has love for you, she will come back and give you a second chance to treat her better, most likely when she thinks you are moving on.

If not, there really isn't anything else you could have done. You've already played all those cards, and she isn't playing back. Don't live your life waiting for her, though.